If it's too much right now, talk to someone tonight.
Finding out about an affair can knock out sleep, appetite and the ground under your feet. That's a normal reaction to a real shock. But if you're afraid of your partner, or you're thinking about harming yourself, the measurement can wait. These lines are free and confidential.
In immediate danger, call the emergency number: 999 in the UK, 112 or 999 in Ireland, 911 in the US and Canada, 000 in Australia, 112 across the EU.
In the UK, if you can't speak on a 999 call from a mobile, press 55 when asked, and the call is put through to the police.
United Kingdom
If you can't cope, or think about harming yourself
- Samaritans, free, any time: 116 123
If you're afraid of your partner
- National Domestic Abuse Helpline, free, 24 hours: 0808 2000 247
- Men's Advice Line, free, weekdays 9–5: 0808 801 0327
- Respect Phoneline, if you're worried about your own behaviour, weekdays 9–5: 0808 802 4040
Ireland
If you can't cope, or think about harming yourself
- Samaritans, free, any time: 116 123
If you're afraid of your partner
- Women's Aid, free, 24 hours: 1800 341 900
- Men's Aid, weekdays 9–5: 01 554 3811
United States
If you can't cope, or think about harming yourself
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, call or text, 24/7: 988
If you're afraid of your partner
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
- or text START to 88788
Canada
If you can't cope, or think about harming yourself
- 9-8-8 Suicide Crisis Helpline, call or text, 24/7, English or French: 988
If you're afraid of your partner
- sheltersafe.ca lists shelters and 24-hour crisis lines in every province and territory.
Australia
If you can't cope, or think about harming yourself
- Lifeline, 24/7: 13 11 14
- Lifeline text, evenings: 0477 13 11 14
If you're afraid of your partner
- 1800RESPECT, 24 hours: 1800 737 732
- Men's Referral Service, if you're worried about your own behaviour: 1300 766 491
Anywhere else
findahelpline.com lists free, confidential helplines by country and topic.
When it isn't a crisis, but it's heavy
- If you can't sleep, eat or work for more than a couple of weeks, see your GP or family doctor. A shock like this can turn into anxiety or depression, and that can be treated.
- A couples therapist or relationship counsellor can help whether you stay together or not. Look for someone who is registered with a professional body and has experience with infidelity.
- Couples counselling is not the right place to start if there is abuse or control. Talk to a domestic abuse service first; they can help you think about safety.
If you share this device, the Leave quickly button at the bottom of every page replaces this site with a weather page.
We checked every number on this page against the services' own information on 8 October 2026, and we check them again every six months. If a number doesn't work, please tell us at hello@infidelitymeter.com.
Infidelity Meter is not a crisis service and can't respond to emergencies.